What’s Stopping You?

Do you have the courage? Do you have the courage to bring forth this work? The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.”

-Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

Lately I’ve been on a journey of sorts. After years of being anxiety-ridden, sad and bored with life, not to mention feeling lost, insecure and like I had accomplished very few things of importance or signifigance, I decided enough was enough. I was ready for a change, and I was ready to live a happy life, no matter what it took. Although I am still on this journey and have plenty of room for further improvement, I am now happier and more at peace than I have ever been. On top of that, I finally feel capable of defeating all of my inner demons and going after my dreams. 

Since I’ve been on this journey, I have come to learn that this isn’t working for me because I’m lucky or special, but everyone (including you!) is capable of doing incredible things, and leading exciting, passion-fueled, fulfilling lives. So, if this kind of life is possible for everyone, then why do so few people actually end up living this way?

When it comes down to it, the answer is really quite simple. If you aren’t living the kind of life that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning, it’s all because of you! You are the only thing stopping yourself from living the life you love. 

While that may sound depressing, don’t fear, because once you begin to fully comprehend what this means for your life, it’s really quite liberating. We each have unique dreams deep inside of us that so badly want to be brought to life. These desires aren’t arbitrary; they’re within us for a reason! The only thing that prevents your dreams from actually being brought to life is your lack of belief. Not other people, not your past, not your luck, not your current situation. YOU. You and you alone hold the key to your happiness, your future and the manifestion of your dreams. 

If you tell yourself you can’t do something, or that your dream could never happen for someone like you, then guess what? It won’t! 

The mind is a funny thing. You see, it doesn’t care what you tell it. It’s job is to simply do what you tell it. It just wants to make you happy. So when contradict your dreams by telling yourself that what you want is is too hard or too scary to be done, or you aren’t ready or you aren’t “_________” enough, your mind prevents it from happening. This is because even though you would really like if (insert your dream here) happened, your brain hears your negative talk about yourself, or the process it will take to get you there and thinks things like, 

“Hard and scary?!” Or, “I’m probably not talented enough or smart enough for (insert your dream)?! Yeah, that sounds unpredictable. And unpredictable equals dangerous. It’s my job to keep her away from things that are dangerous. So, let’s make her feel anxious when she thinks about it, and give her a panic attrack every time she tries it, that way she knows how dangerous it is and won’t try again.”

So often, we don’t align our thinking and the words we speak with our greatest desires, which is why our minds never let them manifest. 

It doesn’t matter how much you wish something would happen. If your brain thinks your wishes are scary because you tell it they are, it will always fight against them because it thinks it’s protecting you. Which is awfully sweet, but highly unhelpful.

Fortunately, all hope is not lost for you! The good news is, you can literally rewire your entire brain. All you have to do is change your thoughts and words. You can make your dreams happen, but you must repeatedly tell yourself that you like doing and are happily choosing whatever it takes to get you there. 

Want to get in shape? Instead of saying things like, “Oh I really want to get that beach body, but I just dread going to the gym. I hate exercising. I don’t have time! I’m so out of shape, it will take forever.”

Say, “I love working out. It makes me feel so good. I love being sore because it’s progress I can feel. I have plenty of time to exercise and still get everything else on my list done.” 

Want to start a new career? Instead of saying things like, “I’m too old. What if it doesn’t work out? I’m not skilled enough. It’s too much work to begin now.” 

Say, “I can’t wait to start this new journey. I’m so glad I have a goal. I am capable. I am likeable. God’s favor is upon me. I will make this happen!”

This can be done for any dream you have, regardless of your age. You just have to trick your mind into doing what you want it to. As I said before, your mind doesn’t care what you tell it, it just wants you to be happy. So, if you repeatedly tell yourself you love doing something and want to do it, your brain goes, “Oh, wait, I like this? This brings me joy? I want to do this? Okay, I’ll keep on doing it then!” Because you brain is automatically wired toward pleasure, when you tell yourself you love something and you’re choosing that something, your brain will work with you, rather than against you, to get it done.  

People cannot make their dreams come true from talent alone. There are plenty of people in this world with an enormous amount of underlying talent that never see anything come of it. Talent is good, but it is not enough. No, people make their dreams come true simply through the relentless belief that they are going to. And because they truly, wholeheartedly believe in themselves, they don’t give up. They know success will come in due time.

If you are anything like the person I once was, where high anxiety consumes the majority of your life, you may be thinking, “Changing my thoughts sounds good and all, but how can I when the fear I feel is so great? I’ll have to wait until the fear stops. Then I’ll be ready to change and start going after my dreams.” 

As much as I wish I could tell you  differently, fear is never going to magically go away if you are trying something new and unfamiliar. Trust me, I searched for years. I wanted a new, exciting and fulfilling life, but I didn’t want to do it afraid. I hoped that if waited long enough, it would go away on its own. I wanted an instant fix to end the fear, but much to my dismay, there was none to be found.

So if this is currently you, you have two choices. The first choice is to keep giving in to fear by sticking with what feels safe and familiar. Although this path provides the comfort of safety, the consequence of choosing this path is that you will never see your dreams become a reality. 

Your other option is to bring fear along for the ride with you. Let it talk, let it bring its’ uncomfortable feelings, but keep going anyway. It’ll fight you kicking and screaming, and will list reason after reason why you shouldn’t try. It’ll beg and plead for you to quit, but I promise you, the longer you keep going, the weaker the fear will get. When it sees its’ efforts aren’t working, it’ll become smaller and smaller until one day you’ll look around and realize that the thing you feared so much isn’t really all that scary anymore. And the more you keep doing things afraid, the more you will begin to see fear for what it really is, simply a fleeting feeling. Fear cannot hurt you. Fear is only temporary. And it can only hold you back if you choose to let it. 

With that being said, I know it’s incredibly hard, and it isn’t something that happens overnight. But my biggest hope is that you will stop letting fear run your life. Stop letting fear win. Have the courage to believe in yourself and go after your dreams. You are so worthy of them. Be the person who decides to go for it. The only difference between those that lead successful lives, and those that don’t is people who choose to go after what they want day after day, even when the results aren’t immediate, because they believe with everything in them that they will manifest. If it worked for me, I know it will work for you!

As always, please leave a comment below or share my blog with others if this post resonated with you! Stay strong 🖤

Kara🌸✨🖤

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